Birthday

FB101 Rosey Details

FRONT: spare me the details!

INSIDE: spares are for bowling and tires girlfriend…I want ALL the details! Have a Crazy Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB103 It's All About The Frosting

FRONT: what is this…why does she get all the frosting?

INSIDE: …because it doesn't go with the fresh-squeezed wheatgrass juice we made you for your birthday! Happy Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB104 That's The Way It Is

FRONT: and that's the way it is -Walter Cronkite

INSIDE: It's your Birthday & there's nothing you can do about it… How's that for news? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Birthday

FB109 What?

FRONT: …ever stop to think and forget what you're thinking about? what was he thinking?

INSIDE: …don't worry about turning 50, you'll forget how old you are by tomorrow anyway. Happy Birthday Old Friend!!!

Birthday

FB110 Right Shoes…Wrong Song!

FRONT: I think if a girl has the right shoes…she can conquer the world!

INSIDE: "all I want for my birthday is my 2 left shoes, my 2 left shoes"…I think I'm singing the wrong song! (I think that's supposed to be all I want for Christmas is….oh whatever!) Happy Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB113 Cheesy Baby

FRONT: …age doesn't matter unless you are a cheese.

INSIDE: so I brought you some aging cheese for your birthday! Have a cheesy one!

Birthday

FB116 The Girls

FRONT: Happiness is the right choice in eyewear.

INSIDE: You can see your cake and eat it too! Happy Birthday!!

Birthday

FB117 Happy Hour

FRONT: at my age…happy hour is a nap!

INSIDE: Looks like you have something in common! Happy Birthday! (Don't forget the warm milk)

Birthday

FB119 Jewel

FRONT: I like to contemplate on the nature of my higher self as a jewel of wisdom, guiding me to my fullest awareness…

INSIDE: …then I like to go shopping for jewels. Happy Birthday to You! (whatever you decide to do)

Birthday

FB120 Kick-ass Red

FRONT: All a girl really needs is a little confidence and kick-ass red lipstick!

INSIDE: Girlfriend…get your lips on, go out and kick up those heels & have a Fantabulous Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB122 Smell The Roses

FRONT: Aging gracefully is knowing when to stop and smell the roses…

INSIDE: …and when to go on Mr. Toad's wild ride! Here's to the ride…Happy Birthday!

Birthday

FB123 Precious

FRONT: You're the perfect age if you know that the journey is filled with hidden and precious jewels.....

INSIDE: …or you could just go shopping for them! Happy Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB124 12 Years of Therapy

FRONT: After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said…"no hablo ingles."

INSIDE: But I've learned to expect the unexpected! !yadhtriB yppaH

Birthday

FB125 Hat Trick

FRONT: …and what did you want me to pull out of the hat?

INSIDE: Another 29th birthday, perhaps? Happy Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB128 Kvetch Kids

FRONT: all she ever does is kvetch!! these pants are such shmatas!

INSIDE: You're only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Birthday

FB129 You Can't Hide

FRONT: …you're being watched! You didn't think you were going to hide from us, did you?

INSIDE: You can run and hide a lot, but you're getting older and we're not. Happy Birthday!

Birthday

FB130 Lose All Your Blues

FRONT: You'll never show your age if you lose all your blues laughing at life… Inspired by Billie Holiday

INSIDE: …or you could have a screaming fit and act like a child and hope they never guess your age! Happy Birthday!!

Birthday

FB131 Sophisticated Lady

FRONT: You're older, you're wiser, you're sophisticated…

INSIDE: You're far too mature to be concerned with material things like presents. Happy Birthday!

Birthday

FB132 Crap Can Rain

FRONT: …crap can rain on your parade only if you let it! eew…..poo

INSIDE: Another year older, another year more full of it! Happy Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB133 Hide The Evidence

FRONT: Quick, hide the evidence…

INSIDE: Middle age is when you eat your cake and wear it too. Happy Birthday!!

Birthday

FB134 It's My Party

FRONT: …it's my party & I'll cry if I want to!

INSIDE: Don't cry because you're aging, smile because you're doing it so well! Happy Birthday!!

Birthday

FB135 Sour Puss

FRONT: A perfectly aged lemon makes one sour puss.

INSIDE: You see what wisdom the years can bring? Hope your birthday is not a lemon! HAVE A SWEET ONE!!

Birthday

FB136 The Top Banana

FRONT: guess you think you’re the top banana…

INSIDE: …well, that’s quite a mouthful, isn’t it? Have a Swingin’ Birthday!

Birthday

FB137 Ladies and Doggies

FRONT: my dog is cuter than your dog! my dog can lick your dog!

INSIDE: Have a lovely birthday, but let’s plan for mine! Happy Birthday Sweetie

Birthday

FB138 Act Your Age

FRONT: I see no good reason to act my age. …and your point is?

INSIDE: Youth is a disease from which we all recover. Happy Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB139 Getting Lucky

FRONT: you know you’re getting old…

INSIDE: …when getting lucky means finding your car in the parking lot! Happy Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB140 Pumped Up

FRONT: I’m gettin’ pumped for your birthday!!!

INSIDE: The excitement never stops! Happy Birthday!!!

Birthday

FB141 Mrs. Wiener

FRONT: …just try a teenie weenie

INSIDE: …this is a dog-eat-dog world, baby! Happy Birthday! (you dawg)

Birthday Mother

FB112 Taco Mama

FRONT: Let's see…will the kids want tacos tonight or burgers?

INSIDE: You make being a Mom look glamorous! Happy Birthday!!

Birthday Mother

FB121 Ha Ha Ha

FRONT: I smile because you're my mother, I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it.

INSIDE: ha ha ha … Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Anniversary

FAW101 We Sure Do Love Each Other

FRONT: I love her & she loves me... & we love each other with a wild hatred born of love.

INSIDE: Happy Anniversary…I think we're in it for the long haul, my darling!

Anniversary

FAW102 Opposites Attract

FRONT: Even though we are opposites in many a way…

INSIDE: …I never thought I could be so gay! Happy Anniversary!!!

Anniversary

FAW105 Another Hat Trick

FRONT: …and what did you want me to pull out of the hat?

INSIDE: a Bentley, perhaps? Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart!

Anniversary

FAW106 Don't Stop

FRONT: It doesn't matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop… -Confucius

INSIDE: loving me…Happy Anniversary!

Anniversary

FAW109 Testosterone Free

FRONT: of course I'm right…I'm testosterone free! la, la,la,la,la,la,la,la,la,

INSIDE: so glad you agree, darling. Happy Anniversary!

Anniversary

FAW110 We're Goin Out

FRONT: …was it really the TV you wanted to watch, Sugar?

INSIDE: Actually, what I had in mind today was shopping for new shoes!!! Happy Anniversary!

Baby

FCB101 Airplane Baby

FRONT: what's the best thing since sliced bread?

INSIDE: an industrial size box of disposible diapers… Enjoy that new addition to your family!!!

Baby

FCB102 Dahling

FRONT: …you look marvelous dahling…i think I might want to potty all day!

INSIDE: …and all night too! Congratulations (and many wonderful diapers to look forward to!!!)

Baby

FCB103 Out Of Diapers

FRONT: diapers are for babies…do you think it would be ok if I ran around naked for a while?

INSIDE: Watch Out! That baby will be out of diapers in no time!! Enjoy your new little angel!!!

Baby

FCB104 Time To Party!

FRONT: Hey Mom… just give us some pizza, soda, cake and ice cream, and we'll party all day with ya…

INSIDE: This, too, can be your life! Welcome to your future, parents… Enjoy your baby…they grow up fast!!!

Baby

FCB105 Mama Gaga

FRONT: goo goo ga ga.. (do you think they don't know what I'm talking about?)

INSIDE: of course Mama GaGa knows the secret language! Congratulations!!!

Baby

FCB106 Mazeltov!

FRONT: Mazeltov!

INSIDE: That's a pretty fabulous new baby you've got!!!

Baby

FCB107 Time To Potty

FRONT: Just give me some warm milk and I'll potty all day!

INSIDE: welcome to your future! Congratulations on the birth of your new son!!!

Baby

FCB108 Not Easy Being A Princess

FRONT: Believe me…it's not easy being a princess!!!

INSIDE: and you,too can have a kid with attitude! Here's to having kids!!!

Baby

FCB109 Smile

FRONT: …smile & I'll smile back

INSIDE: that's one of my better ideas of the day…I really didn't think you wanted to discuss stinky diapers… Congratulations on the new addition to your family!!!

Baby

FCB110 What's The Deal?

FRONT: roses are red violets are blue wait! …what's the deal? Why are violets blue?

INSIDE: I'll have to figure that one out… Congratulations to the family... guess you have a new member!!!

Baby

FCB111 Cry Baby Cutie

FRONT: …it's been lovely, but I have to scream now!

INSIDE: Why do they say you have a baby? The baby has you! CONGRATULATIONS!!

Baby

FCB112 Leak At Both Ends

FRONT: Why do mothers love their little babies so much?

INSIDE: All we do is leak at both ends! Congratulations!!!

Care & Concern

FS103 Control Freak

FRONT: how can I control my life…when I can't even control my hair?

INSIDE: So, who wants to live with a control freak anyways? So Sorry!

Care & Concern

FS104 Black & White

FRONT: not everything in the world is black & white…

INSIDE: …sorry we had a misunderstanding.

Care & Concern

FS105 Keep Quiet

FRONT: It's difficult to keep quiet if you have nothing to say

INSIDE: So sorry about what I said

Care & Concern

FS106 I Don't Want To Go To Bed

FRONT: …I only said it was time to go to bed…

INSIDE: I think what I said came out all wrong! So sorry!

Care & Concern

FS108 Oy Vey!

FRONT: oy vey!! do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from a friend's forehead… enough already!!!

INSIDE: Sometimes I get carried away. So Sorry

Friendship

FR102 Read The Instructions

FRONT: when all else fails…read the instructions!

INSIDE: (never really helped me…but it sounds good!) Love to know how things are working…

Friendship

FR103 Clown Princess

FRONT: I know you're probably thinking… "Oh no, she didn't!" But I just so totally did!

INSIDE: So, you want to know what I've been doing?

Friendship

FR104 Out Of The Water

FRONT: …never test the waters with both feet!

INSIDE: reserve one to kick sand in the face of crabs!

Friendship

FR105 It's All About The Plastic

FRONT: …yup, and my mommy says only the good chairs have plastic on 'em…

INSIDE: just a random thought, but I thought it might have a familiar ring…

Friendship

FR106 Are You Normal

FRONT: …doesn't she know normal is just a cycle on a washing machine?

INSIDE: are you having a normal day???

Friendship

FR107 Inner Child

FRONT: …my outer child is holding my inner-adult hostage!

INSIDE: so, now that you know how I am… how are you?

Friendship

FR114 Tampon Bride

FRONT: Arranged marriages are like tampons…you can stick 'em where the sun don't shine.

INSIDE: Just remember this when you're feeling down. It could be worse. (And may the sun always shine on your tampons!)

Friendship

FR116 The Gangs All Here

FRONT: normal people scare me! welcome to my world! a girl's just gotta dance!

INSIDE: Alrighty then…whatever floats your boat!

Friendship

FR118 The Fabulous Five

FRONT: …a great pair of shoes can change your life!

INSIDE: Let's get real…the best accessory a girl can have is her best friend!!

Get Well

FGW101 Bad Hair Day

FRONT: I'm having a bad hair day……. Me too.

INSIDE: Well at least it's not permanent! Get Well Soon!!!

Get Well

FGW103 He Pooped!

FRONT: what a circus! yuck…he just pooped

INSIDE: where's a bedpan when you need one? Get Well Soon!

Get Well

FGW104 Duct Tape Goddess

FRONT: when all else fails… more duct tape

INSIDE: just an old ancient remedy for what ails you… (cured me, anyway) Get Well Soon!

Get Well

FGW105 Afraid to Cough

FRONT: Do you have a cough? Go home tonight & take a whole box of Ex-Lax… tomorrow you will be afraid to cough!

INSIDE: Give me a call if you need any more advice… I'm full of it! Feel better in the morning!

Get Well

FGW106 Dancing Matilda

FRONT: Sometimes I feel like playing on Grey's Anatomy… sometimes I feel like dancing on American Idol…

INSIDE: but I want to play the character that sends you home! Get Well Soon!!!

Get Well

FGW107 Nursey Nancy

FRONT: after 2 days in the hospital…he took a turn for the nurse! – W.C.Fields

INSIDE: It could be worse! Get Well Soon!

Get Well

FGW108 Snake Remedy

FRONT: try this old fashioned remedy…

INSIDE: …one bite is all it takes! Get well soon!!!

Get Well

FGW109 Come Rain Or Come Shine

FRONT: Come rain or come shine... Hey baby, I'm here for you! I second that emotion!

INSIDE: Let's get that butt out of bed! Happy Healing!

Thank You

FTY101 Birdie

FRONT: Giving is true having

INSIDE: …and getting what you gave me was the best gift of all. Thank You!!!

Thank You

FTY103 Marvelous Maggie

FRONT: …and who do I have to thank for this marvelous thing?

INSIDE: I love it! I love it! I love it! Thank you very much!!!

Thank You

FTY104 You Know What I Mean?

FRONT: The best things in life aren't things. – Ann Landers

INSIDE: You know what I mean? Thanks so much!

Thank You

FTY105 Here's The Catch

FRONT: They say it's better to give than to receive…

INSIDE: …but here's the catch…I loved getting what I got! Thanks a lot!!!

Wedding

FAW103 Kissed On The Lisps

FRONT: …he just kissed me on the lisps!!

INSIDE: Hope you'll always feel like two kids in love…tongue tied & just kissed! Congratulations!!!

Wedding

FAW104 Old Fashioned Wedding

FRONT: I see you're having an old-fashioned wedding…

INSIDE: …a man and a woman. Congratulations on your marriage and new life together!

Wedding

FAW107 A Good Marriage

FRONT: (psst…they say humor is the key to a good marriage)

INSIDE: Hope yours is filled with laughter, and may you never forget your sense of humor! Congratulations!

Wedding

FAW108 Whaatever

FRONT: whaatever Make up your mind…will ya!!!

INSIDE: "a man chases a woman until she catches him” -anonymous Congratulations (on making up your minds!)

Wedding

FAW111 Good For A Laugh

FRONT: …do ya think this marriage might be good for a laugh?

INSIDE: The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. — Henny Youngman Congratulations! (and just keep laughing)